Fernanda and Beto

Two very dear friends of ours lost their lives yesterday, in an early morning car wreck in their hometown in Brazil.  Beto died instantly after he drove their car straight into a bus.  Police believe he had been drinking.  Fernanda hung on in intensive care for awhile but was later pronounced brain dead.  They have three kids who are with extended family.  Our whole community is in shock, thinking about this couple who was always so full of life.  To be so far away adds to the unbelievable feeling of the situation.  When you are part of an immigrant community, other immigrants become your family.  So even though I'm not Brazilian, Fernanda became part of my immigrant family--one of the people who comes over early before a party to help you decorate, and stays late to clean up.  She went back to Brazil last year after fulfilling her American Dream, and was still chasing after her dreams there. 

This new tragedy is taking my focus off of my Kayla grief. I am really sad about Fernanda and Beto's deaths, and imagine the pain their families are feeling at this moment.  Yesterday when everyone else was crying, I was the one who was calm, relaying the message to other friends, making phone calls, etc.  Kayla dying has changed my whole view of grief and death.  

While I am sad and missing Fernanda and Beto, I have also felt more peaceful about my own life.  Having this reminder that ALL life is precious, even my own, was a new thought for me.  Since Kayla died, I've been taking my own life and health for granted, believing that it is now my burden to live as a babyloss mom.  I can't sit around crying every day and feeling sorry for myself because my baby died.  I still have to live my life and view each day as a gift.