Capture Your Grief Day 11: Supportive people

I have so many people that have supported me in different ways since Kayla died.  In the early days, I latched on to a few people whom I knew I could trust, and poured out my heart to them. 

My first support system was/is my husband, and my parents.  They were there every step of the way through Kayla's labor, delivery and our time with her. My husband has let me grieve at my own pace while he also grieves.  My parents display Kayla's picture on their bookshelf along with their other grand-daughters.  She is a part of our family. 

Kayla with her parents and grand-parents

There are 3 friends that I know in real life who were very supportive in tangible ways.  Meiry came to the hospital, brought us soup, saw my baby, saw that she was real.  The act of being there in that moment was exactly what I needed.  Becky, a long-time friend who has known me since junior high, came to see me in the hours between when we found out there was no heartbeat and when we had to report to the hospital for the induction.  What did I do in those hours?  She wasn't afraid of my grief and has let me share Kayla with her whenever I want to.  And Casey, a newer friend who I know for work, pulled me out of my house 2 weeks after and took me to our favorite cafe, breakfast-all-day place, where I spent three hours crying into my coffee and repeating my story over and over again.   These are the people that really shared my low points and tried to understand my grief, so they are also the people that I want to share in my happiness with Livia.

Finally, the internet world opened up a whole new level of support for me.  I had never really interacted with strangers on the internet before Kayla died.  I found myself posting on baby Center, starting this blog, trying to connect with people that might 'get it.'  I am so grateful that I have found such wonderful 'strangers.'  Kristen and I started emailing, becoming something of grief pen-pals.  She lost her son just a week before Kayla died, and has grown into a true friend.  I may have emailed her first when I found out I was pregnant with Livia, before i even told my husband. I also found a small group of women on baby Center who migrated to face.  book that have been the ones I turn to when I'm having a low day, while trying to conceive again, throughout pregnancy, and now after.  And of course, all of the people who read my blog and who write blogs for me to read.  I have spent many hours at the computer writing, thinking, crying, healing and remembering Kayla.  I wish I never had to meet anyone in this community, but as I've said before, I'm so grateful that I found my support system.