The scent of an unused nursery. We moved in to this house when I was already pregnant. We kept her room closed up for most of my pregnancy with Kayla, so the dog wouldn't go in there and pee on the carpet. Because of that, it kind of held on to its musty, new-apartment smell, while the rest of the house lost that smell as we went on with our lives. When I would go in and store baby things in there, that smell reminded me of the excitement and newness that awaited us. After she died, we still kept the room mostly closed up, so that smell still lingered. It would rush at me when I opened the door, sometimes hurting and sometimes making me feel nostalgic. Now that we are using the room with Livia, that smell is gone.
I love the room, so cozy and girly and sweet. I am sorry that it does not have the smell that reminds you of Kayla anymore. The smell of hope. The smell of new. Livia is a wonderful living reminder of those things, but she is not Kayla. Missing Kayla with you today and everyday.
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