The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want (Psalm 23:1)
This verse stood out at me today. It was the basis for a magazine article I was reading about being a prisoner to wanting. It was written by Max Lucado. The article focused on all the things we want and how we think that when we get that one thing, then we'll be happy. For me, that used to manifest itself as me wanting to find a husband or lose weight (both of which I did before I got pregnant!)
Unfortunately I have realized over the past week that I have now been acting like that towards getting pregnant again. It is so hard for me to balance my faith in God with my own personal desire to be a mother, to have a baby to hold in my arms. Can I trust in my faith enough to truly be content, right now, to not want? And what's the difference between being hopeful about a future baby, and wanting too much? Is there a difference between "actively trying" and "being obsessive?"
The article asks: "If your ship never comes in, if your dream never comes true, if the situation never changes, could you be happy? If not, then you are sleeping in the cold cell of discontent. You are in prison..... If you have the Shepherd, you have...a candle for every corner and an anchor for every storm. You have everything you need."
That is a hard question. If I never have another baby, can I find a way to be content, grateful for my life? I hope so. I know I still WANT to get pregnant, and I hope that will have a healthy baby, but I also have to be content with my life now. I've been thinking about this for a few days, and I can feel my attitude shifting already.
Wow,Rachel. I like this. I too have been struggling with the same issued; however, my body has been preventing my "want". This I'd a post I will have to read again and again. Thank you for posting it! Is this an article that might be able to read online?
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