good day

I'm having a good day!  Just wanted to write that down, to read back to myself on some darker day in the future.  Today was good because it felt like a normal day, and I felt like myself all day long, and not some grief monster.  I may have had a few tears at some point in the day, but didn't really cry.  I cry most days, but that doesn't always mean it's a bad day.  I'm just an emotional person in general. Even before I lost Kayla I usually would cry over something at least every other day.  My husband always calls me "manteiga derretida" which means "melted butter" in Portuguese.  It's what you say when someone cries too much.  Quit acting like melted buttter!

As time goes on I am also becoming more OK with not being pregnant.  I mean, I still think about it all the time and we are still trying, but today I felt a little more hopeful that it will happen again in time and didn't feel too stressed about it needing to happen RIGHT NOW. 

I am trying to focus on other areas of my life like my health (lost 5 pounds!), my spirituality (always a work in progress) and my creativity. 

On a funny note, a few nights ago my husband and I were talking about getting pregnant, and I was explaining to him how I think I will ovulate in another week or so, so we should have sex every other day.  Except I couldn't think of the Portuguese word for "ovulate" so I just said "botar um ovo"  which means "to lay an egg!"  Humans do not lay eggs in English or in Portuguese!