Yes, or No

Tomorrow my mother-in-law will go to the US Consulate in Sao Paulo for her "visa interview" to see if she will be approved for a tourist visa to come visit us after the baby is born.  Every Brazilian is required to have a visa to enter the US.  They schedule 150 "interviews" for each 30 minute block of time. They may ask you some questions, but more likely will just look through your paperwork, look at you, and say Yes or No.  No explanation is needed for them to deny you--often it is just because they have met their visa quota for the day.  So by tomorrow we will know, Yes or No, if she is coming.  We are hoping the answer is yes, so she can stay a few months and help us adjust to having an infant around, and to show her our life here.  But it's going to be a black and white answer, just yes or no.  No maybe, almost, no extra points given for WHY she wants to come here. 

That's how I've been feeling about the rest of my pregnancy too.  Will our baby be ok?  In 5 weeks or less we will know, very definitely, if the answer this time is Yes, or if it is No.  Again, we are hoping (praying, pleading, begging) that the answer is YES.  But it's easy to slip into the mindset that we are just "unlucky."  I hate thinking that way but it just creeps in every once in awhile.  Our baby died, the most unluckiest thing of all, so maybe we are marked, doomed.  The unlucky family.  Of course, I could come up with lots of examples of how we are very lucky (health, love, family, etc), but sometimes all I can focus on are the NO answers. 

And all we can do is wait.  Could really use some "yes" answers in the next few weeks.