a date

July 27th, one week from today, we will hopefully meet our baby girl.  She has turned back to transverse as of Wednesday, and I have high amniotic fluid so we decided with my doctor to try an induction.  They will try to turn her and immediately start my induction, to give us the best chance at having a vaginal delivery.  If they cannot turn her (or she hasn't turned on her own by then), I will have a c-section.  I am ok with any and all options, despite my wish of going in to labor on my own and having a beautiful natural birth.  My excitement to meet her outweighs any hesitations, and I trust my doctor. 

What to do with myself for a week???  We are so close.  I put the diapers in the changing table drawer today. We moved our bedroom furniture around to make room for the bassinet (which I can't put in there until I have a baby here--all baby stuff is still tucked away in the baby room).   I'm making final to-do lists.   I'm getting ready to bring a living baby home.  It feels so strange, I still can't really imagine what it is going to be like.  It still feels like maybe I'm preparing for an imaginary baby.  I'm crying a lot, trying to prepare myself emotionally for delivering a living baby, a baby who we want SO much but who is not and never will be Kayla.  I think if I can cry enough and let myself have my fears and anxieties during this next week, I might be ok .