Kayla's first birthday

I will have to write more later, once I have a chance to process and write out what I've been feeling.  We went away for the weekend, to a lodge out in the middle of nowhere, and it was perfect.  I felt so peaceful, much like I did in the moments and hours after Kayla was born.  The grief settled in later, but in those moments I had with her, I was at peace.  The whole weekend I felt that peace.  She is ok.  And so are we.  It still hurts, and I'd still rather have a one-year-old, but we are still ok. 

We had such an outpouring of love from our family and friends (including blog and online friends!)...So many cards, messages, phone calls and gifts that really made me realize how much we are loved, how many people loved Kayla too. 

One of the things we did was have people send us Kayla's name.  Each one was a beautiful gift and made me so happy.  We will probably keep adding pictures as time goes by.  Kayla's Name Gallery.
The link will show the whole gallery, here is a sample of what people came up with.