7 months ago today, May 4th, I found out Kayla's heart had stopped. I hate that I have to keep adding months on, making her farther and farther away from me. But I'm also grateful to trudge through these first few weeks, months, and soon years because my heart is slowly healing. I'm learning to live again. But sometimes it just hurts so much.
My baby died. What a sad story. I am trying to make some ornaments and other little art projects related to Kayla. Usually doing things like that make me feel connected to her, but this morning it just seemed dumb...no matter what I do, she will still be dead. She won't ever be here with me. I walked by the kids clothes at Marshall's today and thought, I wonder which dress I would have picked for her to wear to her first Christmas?
7 months later and the pain is different. It's bearable, I can push it aside when I need to. Life is going on, and I am so grateful for my life. BUT, the pain is still here. I am still sad.
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