we can't live in fear

As everyone knows, there was a school shooting on Friday.  I've been thinking about those parents who were waking up this weekend and looking around at all of their kids' stuff, their messy bedrooms and their toys and their Christmas presents.  While the chaos of the media and politics plays out around them, they are the ones gasping for air right now.  It's heartbreaking.  No family should have to go through that, ever.  Once the chaos dies down, they will be left trying to sort out why they lost their child.  I don't think they will ever find an answer. 

BUT.... (hopefully I don't offend anyone, that is not my intent)... I hate all the media coverage.  I think those families deserve to grieve in peace and not have reporters swarming around, chasing down every last detail of how their children were violently murdered. They don't need all of glued to the tv, saying how unfathomable it is, and how we can't imagine what they are going through.  Because they couldn't have imagined it either, before Friday.

It really bothers me to hear/read things like "That's, it...I'm homeschooling my kids now."   I have seen lots of people saying things like that.  I understand the urge--to protect your children. I have nothing against homeschooling.   But ...YOU CAN'T ALWAYS PROTECT THEM.  Not even when they are inside of you, in the safety and warmth of your womb. School, your house, riding in the car....if something bad is going to happen to you or your family, there really isn't much you can do to prevent it. So don't live in fear.  I'm trying to live that lesson as I learn it myself, with Livia.  I lived in fear for most of her pregnancy.  I hope that if I am lucky enough to birth another baby into this world, that I can let go of some of that fear and embrace life, with all the risks that come with it.  I want to teach Livia that the world is still full of good people even in the darkest of days.  I don't want her to grow up to be fearful, because that doesn't change anything about the world. 

We all latch on to certain stories like this.  I'm guilty as well--glued to the tv, watching the memorials, etc.  But, it's a big world.   I could look up statistics as to how many children die each day from hunger, from violence from preventable illnesses, from poverty.  It's too many for our minds to grasp...but 20...20 is a more reasonable number.  We can relate to 20.  Something really is unsettling me when I see everyone rallying around, holding vigils, crying for these children.    It is not our tragedy. I wish those families weren't dealing with the tragedy of losing a child, but it's not my loss to mourn.  I hope I am not coming across as cold, because those children died in a horribly violent way, and it does make me sad.  Just trying to work out what I am feeling.