8 months, (23 months)

I'll eventually get back to my Brazil recap, hopefully.  I haven't been able to write lately, or read, or do really much of anything except full time childcare.  It's exhausting.  I know I'm supposed to add 'but I'm so grateful' as a babyloss parent (which I am).  After Brazil Livia got a cold/flu that hung around so much I took her to the doctor twice, then she also got two teeth complete with night wakings, fever, and wanting to be held non-stop.  We seem to finally be on the other side of all of that, which is amazing.  I've got my happy baby back!

There are draft posts of  '6 month update' and '7 month update' in my blog folder, so I better write the 8 month update before it flashes by too.  Livia has been alive for 8 months and a week (more or less)...she's been alive long enough that I kind of lose count of each week and day.  Kayla's been gone for 23 months, long enough that I kind of lose count, I've had to count up to her 2nd birthday to be sure.  I met a little girl today at a music workshop that 'will turn two next month,'  and it took me a minute to realize why I was so drawn to her.  My girl would have been 2 next month, too.  It feels really strange sometimes because I lost so much time to grief.  For example our third wedding anniversary is in a couple of weeks, and I spent about 10 minutes one day arguing with myself whether it was our 2nd or our 3rd.

Time moves fast with a living baby though, too.  It seems like Livia was just turning six months and here we are at 8.5.  She is so active and so smart (I know every mom believes this!)  She started crawling right when she turned 6 months and never looked back...she now explores our whole house and 'walks' the perimeter of our living room by hanging on to the couch, chair, etc.  If she keeps up her pace she'll be walking before her first birthday.  

She loves our dog and chases after him, steals his toys.  He hates her and avoids her whenever possible, but will bring her toys and then snatch them out of her hand when she grabs them. 
She has started giving big sloppy kisses and kind of hugging me, and responding more when we play.  It's a fun age.  She's on the small side, weighing 17.5 pounds.  She has really straight eyebrows that everyone comments on, saying how she'll never have to pluck them. She finally got her first tooth a few days after she turned 8 months.   She sleeps in her crib which is still attached to our bed, the best scenario for our family at this point.  We just switched her over to a big-girl convertible carseat and she likes is much better, but still cries when getting in the car.  She doesn't like the carseat but she does like to be on the go, and in her 8 months of life has been all kinds of places, including airplanes, trains, the beach, a waterpark, even a winery!  She demands all of my attention and energy and has changed me in so many ways.  I often feel like I am giving 100% and still completely failing or falling short. I am so glad to be the one who knows everything that happens in her day and to be the one she wants when she is tired or sick or scared.  For now, I have the power to make everything better in her world, and that is an amazing thing. 

waiting to board our last flight home from Brazil, all my more recent pics are on my phone!