In November Kayla would have been two-and-a-half. As usual, I have suddenly been meeting lots of two-and-a-half year olds, Big, independent children who can talk and play and venture away from their parents. Like a sweet little girl who came up to us while we were waiting at an airport last week on our way to Florida, and just walked over to me and gave me a kiss on my cheek. After her mom came to collect her, we got to talking, and she recently turned two-and-a-half. Little things like that pull me back to Kayla's memory.
I decorated our Christmas tree, putting up memorial ornaments and Livia's footprint ornaments from last year, and a hodge-podge of other gifted or bought ornaments. It's just the history of our little family. No one can remove Kayla from that timeline, she will always be a part of our family.
Being on the beach for a few days was incredibly renewing for my soul. We are doing ok. Livia is thriving, we are in a good routine of mothering and toddlering, and my husband is back to work after tearing his ACL in August and having knee surgery. 2013 has been a generous, normal year for us. May will be here before we know it, when we can pack away our winter clothes, air out the house, and remember that three years have already passed. Time keeps passing.
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| 16 months old |
Time does keep passing, and sometimes that just seems like a cruel joke, others like a blessing since time gentles the wound if losing her.
ReplyDeleteTime does keep passing, and sometimes that just seems like a cruel joke, others like a blessing since time gentles the wound if losing her.
ReplyDeleteTime does keep passing, and sometimes that just seems like a cruel joke, others like a blessing since time gentles the wound if losing her.
ReplyDeleteTime does keep passing, and sometimes that just seems like a cruel joke, others like a blessing since time gentles the wound if losing her.
ReplyDeleteTime does keep passing, and sometimes that just seems like a cruel joke, others like a blessing since time gentles the wound if losing her.
ReplyDeleteTime does keep passing, and sometimes that just seems like a cruel joke, others like a blessing since time gentles the wound if losing her.
ReplyDeleteI'm always being confronted by Alexander's should be aged children when I'm out and about with Theo. Almost like I cant stop wanting to be a part of that life with my child that should be here.. should be here for his second Christmas, and I should be an old hat with all these infant woe's I find myself in with Theodore.
ReplyDeleteTime takes hold of me too.. and I forget how far out I am, and where I should be.. and I'm just so present with Theo and his almost 8 month old self. Almost like it could never be any different than exactly what I'm doing right now. It's like a dream that I was supposed to be on a timeline other than what I'm on right now. And I still struggle with "now". Catch myself thinking.. "now.. what is this I'm doing right "now" anyway?... without him. Without my first born. Why is this so?". And then I get so planted in "now" and have to change a diaper, or put my little love down for a nap and I'm in a state of bliss that I cant believe I missed out on the first time around... and was supposed to be served to me in a different way.